Good Old Days … Not

“When I was your age, children knew to respect their parents.” “When I was your age, children had to sit quietly at the table.” Sounds familiar? I bet you all heard these words. I did many times. And every single time I heard that, the intention was talking about “the good old days.” Not like nowadays, when children no longer know to respect their parents and teachers and want to be heard. But were the old days really that good?

The video story (if you prefer to read the story, please continue below the video):

I do remember those days. We indeed knew to respect our parents and teachers. We trusted them; we did what we were told to, seldom challenged them, did not ask too many questions, and our primary goal was to stay out of their way. Was this really that good? I agree it was easier for teachers and parents, but was it the best for children?

To me, the answer is simple – no, not really. I looked at my high school and the professional success that we achieved later in our careers. Two of my classmates own very successful businesses; of course, they used to be excellent students back in school years … NOT! Quite the opposite, both spent their high school days at the edge of to be or not to be. On the other hand, none of the excellent students who always fulfilled the teacher’s expectations made a major career – most grew up into experts who keep fulfilling their boss’s expectations.

And that’s the point – the perfect pupils never took any risk; they always did their best to fulfill expectations. Needless to say, they always behaved in an exemplary way. They were all those kids that used to sit quietly and knew to respect their parents.

And the first two guys? They were living on the edge, behaving boldly, challenging the norms, searching for shortcuts, and taking risks. And, I believe, they also respected their parents but expected that respect to be mutual.

I do not believe in the good old days. I am convinced that the world is getting better every day. Never in history that many people lived in democracy and freedom; never before that many people could afford to travel and had access to healthcare and education. Never before that many people could live different lifestyles.

And all the changes were achieved by challenging the norms, searching for better ways, being bold, and thinking out of the box, not by respecting the authorities and fulfilling the expectations.

That’s where I see my most important role as a father. I don’t want my child to fulfill my expectations and idolize me. I want them to have their own dreams and the courage to follow them. Stay tuned!